I never understood the emotional impact of losing a parent. The past year since my Dad's death has been extremely difficult. From learning his diagnosis of liver cancer, to his death was only five months. As a family, we did everything we could do to help him fight it, but ultimately there were too many factors. Before he could have a liver resection, he needed bypass surgery and his body could not heal quickly enough to be able to withstand a second surgery so soon. He had the very best doctors and we created our own rehab facility in our house to keep him home. We have no regrets about anything we did, even as difficult as it all was for us, so I find a lot of comfort from that. When he died, he was at his own home with wife (my Mom), all four kids and six grandkids, literally around his bed. It could not have been a more loving atmosphere for him or for us. It's the mere fact that he's not there - just not having my Dad. The one year anniversary is approaching and I'm reliving some of those final weeks. Tears come easy, but I am trying to turn my thoughts to memories that make me smile. Right now, that's all I can manage and I am giving myself permission to feel that that's ok.